PERFECTIONISM - PART II

 

Perfectionism, in psychology, is a personality trait characterized by a person's striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations.^[1][2] It is best conceptualized as a multidimensional characteristic, as psychologists agree that there are many positive and negative aspects.^[3] In its maladaptive form, perfectionism drives people to attempt to achieve an unattainable ideal, and their adaptive perfectionism can sometimes motivate them to reach their goals. In the end, they derive pleasure from doing so. When perfectionists do not reach their goals, they often fall into depression.

Causes of Perfectionism

If you are a perfectionist, it is likely that you learned early in life that other people valued you because of how much you accomplished or achieved. As a result you may have learned to value yourself only on the basis of other people’s approval. Thus your self-esteem may have come to be based primarily on external standards. This can leave you vulnerable and excessively sensitive to the opinions and criticism of others. In attempting to protect yourself from such criticism, you may decide that being perfect is your only defense.
A number of the following negative feelings, thoughts, and beliefs may be associated with perfectionism:

• Fear of failure. Perfectionists often equate failure to achieve their goals with a lack of personal worth or value.
• Fear of making mistakes. Perfectionists often equate mistakes with failure. In orienting their lives around avoiding mistakes, perfectionists miss opportunities to learn and grow.
• Fear of disapproval. If they let others see their flaws, perfectionists often fear that they will no longer be accepted. Trying to be perfect is a way of trying to protect themselves from criticism, rejection, and disapproval.
• All-or-none thinking. Perfectionists frequently believe that they are worthless if their accomplishments are not perfect. Perfectionists have difficulty seeing situations in perspective. For example, a straight “A” student who receives a “B” might believe, “I am a total failure.”
• Overemphasis on “shoulds.” Perfectionists’ lives are often structured by an endless list of “shoulds” that serve as rigid rules for how their lives must be led. With such an overemphasis on shoulds, perfectionists rarely take into account their own wants and desires.
• Believing that others are easily successful. Perfectionists tend to perceive others as achieving success with a minimum of effort, few errors, emotional stress, and maximum self-confidence. At the same time, perfectionists view their own efforts as unending and forever inadequate.

What is perfectionism?

Perfectionism is:
* the irrational belief that you and/or your environment must be perfect
* the striving to be the best, to reach the ideal and to never make a mistake
* an all pervasive attitude that whatever you attempt in life must be done letter perfect with no deviation, mistakes, slip-ups or inconsistencies
* a habit developed from youth that keeps you constantly alert to the imperfections, failings, and weakness in yourself and others
* a level of consciousness that keeps you ever vigilant to any deviations from the norm, the guidelines or the way things are "supposed to be"
* the underlying motive present in the fear of failure and fear of rejection, i.e., if I am not perfect I will fail and/or I will be rejected by others
* a reason why you may be fearful of success, i.e., if I achieve my goal, will I be able to continue, maintain that level of achievement
* a rigid, moralistic outlook that does not allow for humanism or imperfection
* an inhibiting factor that keeps you from making a commitment to change habitual, unproductive behavior out of fear of not making the change "good enough"
* the belief that no matter what you attempt it is never "good enough" to meet your own or others' expectations

What irrational beliefs contribute to perfectionism?
* Everything in life must be done to your level of perfection, which is often higher than anyone else's.
* It is unacceptable to make a mistake.
* You must always reach the ideal no matter what.
* If those in authority say this is the way it is supposed to be, then that is the way it is supposed to be.
* You are a loser if you cannot be perfect.
* It is what you achieve rather than who you are that is important.
* I have no value in life unless I am successful.
* There is no sense in trying to do something unless I can do it perfectly, e.g., "I don't attempt things I can't do well."
* If I have a failure or experience a set back in my efforts to change then I should give up.
* The ideal is what is real; unless I reach the ideal I am a failure.
* There are so many roadblocks and pitfalls to keep me from succeeding. It is better just to give up and forget my goal.
* Unless I am "Number One," there is no sense in trying. Everyone knows what "Number Two" is. To win is the only acceptable goal.
* If you screw up in your efforts to achieve a goal, just give up. It must be too hard to achieve.
* You must always strive to reach the ideal in everything you do because it is in the achievement of the ideal that you give meaning to your life.
* Don't ever let anyone know what goal you're working on. That way they won't consider you a failure if you don't reach it.
* If you can't do it right the first time, why try to do it at all?
* There is only one way to reach a goal: the right way.
* It takes too much effort and energy to reach a goal. I save myself the aggravation and discouragement by not setting goals for myself.
* I'll never be able to change and grow the way I want to, so why try?
* I am a human being prone to error, frailty and imperfections; therefore, I won't be able to accomplish things in a perfect or ideal way. I'll just give up on achieving any of my goals or desires.

What are some negative consequences of perfectionism?
Examples of the negative consequences of perfectionism include:
Low self-esteem. Because a perfectionist never feels "good enough" about personal performance, feelings of being a "failure" or a "loser" with a lessening of self-confidence and self-esteem may result.
Guilt. Because a perfectionist never feels good about the way responsibility has been handled in life (by himself or others) a sense of shame, self-recrimination and guilt may result.
Pessimism. Since a perfectionist is convinced that it will be extremely difficult to achieve an ideal goal, he can easily become discouraged, fatalistic, disheartened and pessimistic about future efforts to reach a goal.
Depression. Needing always to be perfect, yet recognizing that it is impossible to achieve such a goal, a perfectionist runs the risk of feeling depressed.
Rigidity. Needing to have everything in one's life perfect or "just so" can lead a perfectionist to an extreme case of being inflexible, non-spontaneous and rigid.
Obsessiveness. Being in need of an excessive amount of order, pattern or structure in life can lead a perfectionist to become nit-picky, finicky or obsessive in an effort to maintain a certain order.
Compulsive behavior. Over-indulgence or the compulsive use of alcohol, drugs, gambling, food, shopping, sex, smoking, risk-taking or novelty, is often used to medicate a perfectionist who feels like a failure or loser for never being able to be "good enough" in life.
Lack of motivation. Believing that the goal of change will never be able to be ideally or perfectly achieved can often give a perfectionist a lack of motivation to attempt change in the first place, or to persevere if change has already begun.
Immobilization. Because a perfectionist is often burdened with an extreme fear of failure, the person can become immobilized. With no energy, effort or creative juices applied to rectify, improve or change the problem behavior in the person's life, he becomes stagnant.
Lack of belief in self. Knowing that one will never be able to achieve an idyllic goal can lead a perfectionist to lose the belief that he will ever be able to improve his life significantly.

What rational behaviors are needed to overcome perfectionist tendencies?
To overcome perfectionism one needs to:
* accept self as a human being
* forgive self for mistakes or failings
* put self back on the wagon immediately after falling off
* accept that the ideal is only a guideline or goal to be worked toward, not to be achieved 100 percent
* set realistic and flexible time frames for the achievement of a goal
* develop a sense of patience and to reduce the need to "get it done yesterday"
* be easier on oneself; setting unrealistic or unreasonable goals or deadlines sets you up for failure
* recognize that the human condition is one of failings, weakness, deviations, imperfections and mistakes; it is acceptable to be human
* recognize that one's backsliding does not mean the end of the world; it is OK to pick oneself up and start all over again
* develop an ability to use "thought stopping" techniques whenever you find yourself mentally scolding yourself for not being "good enough"
* visualize reality as it will be for a human rather than for a super human
* learn to accept yourself the way you are; let go of the ideas of how you should be
* enjoy success and achievement with a healthy self-pride, and eliminate the need for self-deprecation or false humility
* learn to enjoy success without the need to second guess your ability to sustain the achievement
* reward yourself for your progress, to reinforce your efforts to change even when progress is slight or doesn't meet up to your idealistic expectations
* love yourself; to believe that you deserve good things
* to eliminate unrealistic expectations and the idea that you are infallible
* visualize yourself as "winning" even when it takes more energy, and more perseverance, than what you had planned
* let go of rigid, moralistic judgments of your performance and to develop an open, compassionate understanding for the hard times, obstacles and temptations
* be flexible in setting goals and be willing to reassess your plan from time to time to keep things realistic
* be open to the idea that you will be successful in your efforts to change, even if you are not "first," "the best," "the model," "the star pupil," "the exemplar" or "the finest"
* realize that the important thing is to be going in a positive direction

How can a social support system help in overcoming perfectionism?
Social support systems can help you overcome perfectionism if you:
* select realistic people who are not perfectionists in their own life
* encourage your support system members to not be rigid or moralistic in their attempts to keep you on an honest course
* have support people who role model forgiving and forgetting when mistakes, failures, offenses or backsliding occur
* have given them permission to call you on being too hard, too brutal, too rigid, too unrealistic or too idealistic in your expectations
* have people who will give positive reinforcement for any positive change, no matter how small or slight it is
* select trustworthy people who are open, honest, and have a sincere interest in your personal growth

PERFECTIONISM PART I

PERFECTIONISM PART ONE

14 Signs Your Perfectionism Has Gotten Out Of Control

 

If you've ever cried about getting a B+ or ending up in second place, there's a good chance you're a perfectionist.
As a culture, we tend to reward perfectionists for their insistence on setting high standards and relentless drive to meet those standards. And perfectionists frequently are high achievers -- but the price they pay for success can be chronic unhappiness and dissatisfaction. 

"Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching at air," psychologist David Burns warned in a 1980 Psychology Today essay. "[Perfectionists] are especially given to troubled relationships and mood disorders."

Perfectionism doesn't have to reach Black Swan levels to wreak havoc on your life and health. Even casual perfectionists (who may not think of themselves as perfectionists at all) can experience the negative side-effects of their personal demand for excellence. Here are 14 signs that perfectionism could actually be holding you back -- and simple ways to start letting go. 

1. You've always been eager to please.

Perfectionism often starts in childhood. At a young age, we're told to reach for the stars -- parents and teachers encourage their children to become high achievers and give them gold stars for work well done (and in some cases, punishing them for failing to measure up). Perfectionists learn early on to live by the words "I achieve, therefore I am" -- and nothing thrills them quite like impressing others (or themselves) with their performance.
Unfortunately, chasing those straight A's -- in school, work and life -- can lead to a lifetime of frustration and self-doubt.

"The reach for perfection can be painful because it is often driven by both a desire to do well and a fear of the consequences of not doing well," says psychologist Monica Ramirez Basco. "This is the double-edged sword of perfectionism."

2. You know your drive to perfection is hurting you, but you consider it the price you pay for success. 

The prototypical perfectionist is someone who will go to great (and often unhealthy) lengths to avoid being average or mediocre, and who takes on a "no pain, no gain" mentality in their pursuit of greatness. Although perfectionists aren't necessarily high achievers, perfectionism is frequently tied to workaholism.
"[The perfectionist] acknowledges that his relentless standards are stressful and somewhat unreasonable, but he believes they drive him to levels of excellence and productivity he could never attain otherwise," Burns writes.

3. You're a big procrastinator. ( Melengahkan kerja )

The great irony of perfectionism is that while it's characterized by an intense drive to succeed, it can be the very thing that prevents success. Perfectionism is highly correlated with fear of failure (which is generally not the best motivator) and self-defeating behavior, such as excessive procrastination.

Studies have shows that other-oriented perfectionism (a maladaptive form of perfectionism which is motivated by the desire for social approval), is linked with the tendency to put off tasks. Among these other-oriented perfectionists, procrastination stems largely from the anticipation of disapproval from others, according to York University researchers. Adaptive perfectionists, on the other hand, are less prone to procrastination.

4. You're highly critical of others. 

Being judgmental toward others is a common psychological defense mechanism: we reject in others what we can't accept in ourselves. And for perfectionists, there can be a lot to reject. Perfectionists are highly discriminating, and few are beyond the reach of their critical eye.
By being less tough on others, some perfectionists might find that they start easing up on themselves.

5. You go big or go home.

Many perfectionists struggle with black-and-white thinking -- you're a success one moment and a failure the next, based on your lastest accomplishment or failure -- and they do things in extremes. If you have perfectionist tendencies, you'll probably only throw yourself into a new project or task if you know there's a good chance you can succeed -- and if there's a risk of failure, you'll likely avoid it altogether. Studies have found perfectionists to be risk-averse, which can inhibit innovation and creativity.

For perfectionists, life is an all or nothing game. When a perfectionist sets her mind to something, her powerful drive and ambition can lead her to stop at nothing to accomplish that goal. It's unsurprising, then, that perfectionists are at high risk for eating disorders.

6. You have a hard time opening up to other people. 

Author and researcher Brene Brown has called perfectionism a "20-ton shield" that we carry around to protect ourselves from getting hurt -- but in most cases, perfectionism simply prevents us from truly connecting with others.

Because of their intense fear of failure and rejection, perfectionists often have a hard time letting themselves be exposed or vulnerable, according to psychologist Shauna Springer.
"It is very hard for a perfectionist to share his or her internal experience with a partner," Springer writes in Psychology Today. "Perfectionists often feel that they must always be strong and in control of their emotions. A perfectionist may avoid talking about personal fears, inadequacies, insecurities, and disappointments with others, even with those with whom they are closest."

7. You know there's no use crying over spilt milk... but you do anyway.

Whether it's burning the cookies or being five minutes late for a meeting, the perfection-seeking tend to obsess over every little mistake. This can add up to a whole lot of meltdowns, existential crises, and grown-up temper tantrums. When your main focus is on failure and you're driven by the desire to avoid it at all costs, even the smallest infraction is evidence for a grand thesis of personal failure.

"Lacking a deep and consistent source of self-esteem, failures hit especially hard for perfectionists, and may lead to long bouts of depression and withdrawal in some individuals," writes Springer. 

8. You take everything personally.

Because they take every setback and criticism personally, perfectionists tend to be less resilient than others. Rather than bouncing back from challenges and mistakes, the perfectionist is beaten down by them, taking every misstep as evidence for the truth of their deepest, continually plaguing fear: "I'm not good enough."

9. ... And you get really defensive when criticized.

You might be able to pick out a perfectionist in conversation when they jump to defend themselves at even the slightest hint of a criticism. In an effort to preserve their fragile self-image and the way they appear to others, a perfectionist tries to take control by defending themselves against any threat -- even when no defense is needed.

10. You're never quite "there yet." 

Because perfection is, of course, an impossible pursuit, perfectionists tend to have the perpetual feeling that they're not quite there yet. Self-described perfectionist Christina Aguilera told InStyle in 2010 that she focuses on all the things she hasn't yet accomplished, which gives her a drive to constantly out-do herself.
"I am an overachiever and an extreme perfectionist," Aguilera said. "I would like to do more film and I feel that I still have yet to acquire the type of success that I desire. I’m sure there will definitely be a place that I will be at peace with knowing I’ve accomplished a lot.”

11. The image below makes you nervous. 

 

12. You take pleasure in someone else’s failure, even though it has nothing to do with you.

Misery loves company, and perfectionists -- who spend a lot of time and energy thinking and worrying about their own failure -- can find relief and even pleasure in others' challenges. For a moment, taking pleasure in someone else's shortcomings might make you feel better about yourself, but in the long term, it only reinforces the kind of competitive and judgmental thinking that perfectionists thrive on.

13. You get secretly nostalgic for your school days.

Some people hated school, but you loved it, because success was quantifiable -- you had assignments, grades, feedback, and a teacher whose job it was to provide positive feedback and a pat on the back for a job well-done. You might have been a teacher's pet, or maybe you were voted “Most likely to succeed” in the yearbook. The structure of school and easy equation of "work hard, do well, be rewarded" is a comfort for most perfectionists.

In the real world, success is measured differently. Everything is structured differently. And while you might not ever tell anyone, there’s a part of you that misses that world where it was possible to get an A+ and call it a day.

14. You have a guilty soul.

Underneath it all, perfectionists are often plagued by guilt and shame. Maladaptive perfectionism -- a drive to perfection that generally has social roots, and a feeling of pressure to succeed that derives from external, rather than internal, sources -- is highly correlated with depression, anxiety, shame and guilt.
"Perfectionism is not about striving for excellence or healthy striving," Brown told Oprah. "It's… a way of thinking and feeling that says this: 'If I look perfect, do it perfect, work perfect and live perfect, I can avoid or minimize shame, blame and judgment.'"
Brown's remedy? Try practicing authenticity. Let others see you, exactly as you are, and let go of the protecting shield of perfectionism in order to express vulnerability.
"Authenticity is a practice and you choose it every day," she says, "sometimes every hour of every day."

5 JENIS MAKANAN UNTUK MENGURUSKAN BADAN.......

5 Foods that Keep You Thin

How to Spot Nutritious Choices that Help You Stay Slim

Last Updated: Aug 16, 2013 | By Kristin McGrath

Photo Caption CRUNCH TIME: Studies indicate your stomach may feel fuller when you eat calories from foods that require more chewing. Photo Credit Jupiterimages/Pixland/Getty Images

Overview

Take a look around any book store, and you'll find dozens of diet books lining the shelves. Despite their bright and cheerful covers, with their positive, upbeat claims, many of them are filled with information that promotes all the wrong messages.

"The word 'diet' is negative and implies people can go on and off them," said Jane Korsberg, a senior instructor in the department of nutrition at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland.

Korsberg is one nutritionist who thinks it would be better to re-think the whole concept of dieting.

"'Diet foods' are confusing to many people," she explained. "What diet is the 'diet food' geared for? Is it low-calorie, low-fat, low-sodium, low-sugar, gluten-free, et cetera?"

Besides, many of the foods that specifically target dieters seem to rarely satisfy. Take those 100-calorie snack packs, for example, made to help people control calories. Those often don't even work, Korsberg says. After all, few people actually stop at only one pack.

The Worst Fitness Advice…

 

You don't need fancy plans or complicated point systems to be thin. All you need to do is make smart food choices, watch your portion sizes and stay active.

"Learning to eat properly for a lifetime is more beneficial," Korsberg said. "The emphasis should be on choosing healthful foods every day and changing lifestyles for the better."

So instead of sticking to diet fare, fill up on nutritious, wholesome foods. And if you need some recommendations, you can start with these five options, which are among the many delicious foods that make a good addition to healthy eating while keeping you slender.

The word 'diet' is negative and implies people can go on and off them.

Dietitian Jane Korsberg, senior instructor in the department of nutrition, Case Western Reserve University

The Drink to Stay Slim: Green Tea

Skip the diet soft drinks. They typically contain artificial sweeteners that might not be good for your waistline. While these faux sugars contain very few calories -- if they contain any at all. Jane Korsberg, a senior instructor in the department of nutrition at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland cautions that dirt soft drinks just might make people crave more of the sweet stuff later on, leading to poor food choices.
Instead of picking a drink that you hope won't lead to weight gain, choose one that might actually help you lose weight, such as green tea.
A study in the "Journal of the American College of Nutrition" found that people who drank four cups of this brew each day for eight weeks lowered their BMI levels and lost an average of about 2 lb. by the end of the study. Another study, published in the journal "Obesity," found that people who drank two servings of a green tea brew for three months lost weight around their waistlines.
Just make sure you stick to the homemade brew. It typically contains more heart-healthy amounts of antioxidants than the bottled varieties.

Apples

Apples are a good source of dietary fiber. Dietary fiber not only contributes to a healthy digestive system and reduced cholesterol, but it also benefits smart eaters by yielding no calories while keeping them satisfied.

And there's something else about the fruit that might help you feel full. A study in the journal "Appetite" found that when women added either three apples or three pears to their daily meals, they lost more weight than people who added three oat cookies to their diets -- even though the fruit and the cookies contained the exact same amount of dietary fiber.

Although the reason behind this finding may be a mystery, there is something to be said for the findings. According to Alan Aragon, a nutritionist and author of "Girth Control: The Science of Fat Loss & Muscle Gain," crunchy foods in particular can trick a person into feeling fuller. The act of chewing may send satiety signals to your body, he says, making you think you've eaten more than you really have and keeping hunger at bay.

Almonds

If you're looking for a tasty midday snack, a handful of almonds are a well-regarded option. A study in 2009 in "The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition" found that women who ate nuts at least two times a week were more successful at keeping weight off than those who didn't eat this food.

One particular favorite among some nutritionists is almonds, says Aragon. One ounce of this food contains only 167 calories, plus it packs roughly 6 g of protein and 3 g of fiber, both nutrients that can make you feel full. Furthermore, like apples, almonds are crunchy and require a lot of chewing, so they, too, can make you feel like you've eaten more than you actually did and keep you fuller longer.

Salmon

If you're uncertain about fish, there's no need to fear. Seafood can be part of a healthy diet. And there's some evidence that the fat in foods such as salmon can boost satiety levels, says Aragon. For example, a study published in the "International Journal of Obesity" found that when dieters ate salmon a few times a week, they lost about two more pounds than those who didn't include seafood in their meals.

And in spite of the mention of salmon's fat content, the food is relatively low in calories. One 3-oz. serving has just 175 calories. Salmon is a good source of protein as well.

Eggs

There's no doubt that protein, like fiber, has impressive satiating powers. And while eggs seem to have a bad reputation in some circles, there can be no contesting their ability to help keep your weight in check.

Research has shown that eating eggs at breakfast can help you fight weight gain all day long. A study reported in 2008 in the "International Journal of Obesity" found that when dieters ate two eggs for breakfast for five days out of the week, they lost 65 percent more weight than dieters who consumed a bagel in the morning. Although protein is likely to fill you up whenever you eat it, some scientists suspect that having more in the morning can keep you feeling fuller all day long.

Tomatoes

It's true that most veggies make for great diet fare. Non-starchy vegetables in particular, such as carrots, celery and spinach, are filled with fiber. Like other foods high in fiber, they can help keep you feeling satiated.

Plus, they're pretty self-regulating, says Aragon. You can't really overeat with nonstarchy vegetables. After all, how many baby carrots can a person eat without needing to dunk them in some ranch dressing?

So while there are many veggies that can help you stay slim, tomatoes might be a particularly good option because they're so tasty. And, besides, with that whole a-tomato-is-a-vegetable-no-it's-a-fruit argument, you might have forgotten all about eating them. One cup of cooked, red tomatoes contains just 43 calories, but tastes just as delicious as any number of high-calorie foods.

And that's at least half the secret, finding foods that are both healthy and tasty. The good thing is, they do exist. Over time, you'll discover what wholesome, filling foods you prefer, expanding your choices while shrinking your waistline.

E-471 - KONTROBERSI EMULSIFIER DALAM MAKANAN

Jiran sabelah rumah bermasaalah dengan otot kaki beliau yang sakit tanpa diketahui puncanya. Satelah memakan ubat dari hospital dan klinik tidak juga sembuh. Saperti biasa bomoh urut adalah orang yang akan mendapat perhatian selanjutnya. Walaubagaimana pun, kaki beliau tidak juga sembuh. Satelah mendengar nasihat saorang sahabat dengan tak semena-mena satelah  meminum beberapa "sachet" kopi segera, sakit otot yang dialaminya sejak beberapa bulan lalu telah sembuh saperti kata perpatah Melayu Kedah  " saperti ambik tauk buang " 

Satelah dimaklumkan, saya telah membeli kopi tersebut (jenama xxx)  dan mula meminumnya. Satelah diselidik kehalalan kopi tersebut, saya dapati terdapat      "emulsifier " jenis E471 dan E472e. Emulsifier jenis ini dikatakan mengandungi unsur-unsur babi (khinzir). Saya mula melayari internet mencari bukti yang lebih kukuh dan mendapati butiran saperti berikut:-

 Re: E471 - PIG??? HALAL or HARAM?? 

This use of E numbers is probably causing more confusion than what it was designed to eliminate.

E-471 is the new label designation for Mono- and Diglycerides of fatty acids (glyceryl monostearate, glyceryl distearate)

While it is possible to obtain it from animal products, it is more economical to obtain it from plant fats such as coconut or corn oil. It is very doubtful you will ever find it made from pig fat as it would be expensive to extract. Since it is a significant component of vegetable oils you may see it listed as an ingredients of products made with vegetable oil.

However, since there is a chance it could be obtained from animals you will want to verify the source, before eating the product - Woodrowli.

          Wallahuaqlam..