Can Coffee Help Diabetes Symptoms ?

Dr Khan's Health Blogs

Friday, December 5, 2014

Can Coffee Help Diabetes Symptoms ?

• Can Coffee Help Diabetes Symptoms?
• What type and quantity of coffee is helpful?
• SHould i take coffee with heart diseases, diabetes, bleeding disorders, psychological disorders, sleep disorders, pregnancy or any other morbidity?

   According to recent diabetes news by journal of diabetologia that coffee can help diabetes symptoms if taken regularly in morning.  These findings are based on a broad cohort study groups comprising of one and a half million people in three groups of NHS1 , NHS 2 and Health professionals. Genders, racial and ethnic biases were minimized to possible limits.

     Dietary follow ups were done every four years for coffee intake irrespective of types like coffee, coffee beans, espresso and cocoa beans etc .  Patients were advised to report diabetes mellitus on their own.  What happened?  only 7 thousand reported out of 1.5 million,a statistically milestone of endocrinology compared to normal odds in population, these were very thin and improved. 

    Further intake frequency also had subgroups in reduction of diabetes risks.  People with three cups of coffee in a day had 37 percent less chance to be diabetic and needy of insulin compared to those who took only one cup a day.  The chance of diabetes mellitus type 2 was reduced to 11 % in people with one and a half cup intake a day. 

    On the contrary, those who cut their morning intake of coffee , they had more likelihood of getting diabetes symptoms compared to normal population by 17 percent.    

  So what kind of cup of coffee was used.  Here are the details.       

•  number of ounces per cup = 8
• black and regular coffee.
• No decaf.
• No lattes
• No cappuccinos
• Milk and sugar in adequate amount neither more nor less.
• Low fat milk with no sugar was used.

Was Tea Helpful too?          No it was not.  Study how ever did not focus on tea aspects.  No significant reports were mentioned.  But what is different between coffee and tea,both have caffeine in it, is it some other secret ingredient behind this magic?  Only further study will tell.  

Nutshell: 

Moderate intake ( 2-3 cups per day) of 8 ounces cup of coffee with no espresso, latte or cappuccino and low fat milk and no added sugar may help reducing the diabetes mellitus type 2 risk and incidence.

Disclaimer:  Please note that these are the results of a cohort group study and individual effects may vary so think and consult with your doctor before opting for any of this.  If you have ADHD or any other stimulant issue, or insomnia or psychological issue where stimulants are contraindicated, this coffee business is not for you.  This study is not for people with diabetes, heart diseases, Glaucoma, Bleeding disorders , Gastric issues like IBS or any other contraindication to caffeine. 

COPIED BY MASBI:

       

SEX AND DIABETES..... HERE AND THERE...

Kebanyakan diantara pasangan yang mengidapi penyakit Kencing Manis, berasa kekok untuk berterus terang sehinggakan pasangan tersebut akan beransur-ansur            " kalah" diatas ranjang. Tidak di napikan bahawa  " libido " pengidap kencing manis akan berkurang disebabkan perkara-perkara " physiological change " yang berlaku didalam badan.

ANDA BOLEH BACA NOTA DIBAWAH. MAAF YA .. DALAM BAHASA INGGERIS, TAK SEMPAT NAK TRANSLATE.

Here's the difference between desire and arousal: First, sexual desire must occur; the body then responds, signaling arousal. That is, if everything's working properly. Both men and women with diabetes may feel desire but struggle with arousal problems, though the mechanisms behind this sexual dysfunction are better studied and understood in men. For both men and women, a good place to start looking for possible causes is your medicine cabinet. Some blood pressure–lowering medications, for instance, can contribute to erectile dysfunction. When meds aren't behind a person's hampered arousal, diabetes may be to blame. Poor diabetes control over time can damage the blood vessels and nerves—as it does in heart disease and neuropathy (nerve damage), other complications of the disease—that make arousal possible.

Him:

One of the main sexual problems men with diabetes face is the inability to have an erection. Damage to the vascular system can impair blood flow. If the blood vessels aren't functioning properly or if an artery is blocked, not enough blood will travel to the penis, making it difficult to get an erection.

Nerve function plays a role, too. If the brain isn't properly communicating with the nerves in the sexual organs, the body might not be able to shuttle blood there, impairing a man's ability to get an erection. The ability to keep an erection can also be affected, because the brain must communicate with the nerves to hold blood in the penis. (Keep in mind: A man's ability to get and hold an erection typically wanes with age.)

Fortunately, there are plenty of treatment options. Neither men nor their partners should accept male sexual dysfunction, says Janis Roszler, RD, CDE, LDN, a certified diabetes educator and author of the book Sex and Diabetes: For Him and for Her. "For men, there absolutely is a treatment that will work." Options include PDE5 inhibitors, such as Viagra and Cialis, which improve blood flow; testosterone injections or gels (if testosterone levels are low); injectable medications or suppositories; constriction rings that sit at the base of the penis; vacuum pumps that draw blood into the penis; support sleeves that hold the penis in place during sex; and penile implants.

Her:

Nerve damage may also cause vaginal dryness, which is twice as common in women with diabetes as it is in women without diabetes. It's also a result of aging. "Vaginal dryness is very common among women who are menopausal or post-menopausal," says Lindau. In those cases, a lack of estrogen is behind the dryness, and problems may be treated with prescription estrogen, available in pills, a patch, or a cream used in the vagina.

Because researchers don't understand exactly why women's bodies lose the ability to self-lubricate when menopause isn't the cause, treatment options are slim. Most experts recommend using store-bought lubricant.

Women with diabetes are also prone to the same blood-flow issues men face because of nerve or blood vessel damage. Diabetes complications may make it difficult for blood to move to the vagina and clitoris. "The question we have, as far as women go, is that there are women with excellent A1Cs who don't have any blood vessel issues," says Roszler. "They don't have any neuropathy. But they still have sexual problems." 

Because studying female arousal problems is difficult for many reasons—women may have a hard time determining just how turned on they are, and there's less of a physical sign of arousal in women than there is in men—treatments are few. But Goldstein says research is promising.

A small study in the August issue of The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women with type 1 diabetes who took 5 mg of tadalafil (Cialis) for 12 weeks reported an improved quality of life, greater arousal and orgasm, more enjoyment and satisfaction from sex, and more frequent sex. This doesn't mean you should start sneaking your partner's pills—please don't: The treatment is unapproved in women, dangerous in some people with heart problems, and generally unsafe until proved otherwise. But it does show promise for female treatments of the future. As for the present, Lindau says some women use clitoral pumps to aid blood flow but notes that the device isn't for everyone.

The Big O

An orgasm is a sought-after sexual reward, but for people with diabetes it can feel like an unattainable goal. And, yes, we're talking about women and men here. Both can struggle with the elusive O, and the first thing they and their doctors should check are the medications they take, such as antidepressants.

Her:

Though women in general report more difficulty having an orgasm than men, those with diabetes have even greater difficulty. Sure, a woman's inability to climax often has to do with her mental or emotional state (more on that later), but diabetes may be in play, too. According to a study published this August in the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology, middle-aged women whose diabetes requires insulin are 80 percent more likely to report trouble reaching an orgasm than women without diabetes.

"To the best of what we know now, the neurovascular system is necessary for arousal and orgasm," says Lindau. "If the small nerves are not working properly, then you can have sensation problems. In order for the clitoris to have the engorgement it needs to orgasm, it needs to have the blood flow and sensation."

A hormone imbalance may be to blame, Roszler says. Some scientists studying women's ovulation cycles hypothesize that off-balance hormones, and not just testosterone, may be behind women's decreased arousal and orgasm, but the research is in its infancy.

Him:

Having an orgasm is usually pretty easy for men, which is why it can be so frustrating if a man's unable to finish. Like women, men suffering from neurovascular damage—and the lack of blood flow and/or sensation it creates—can have a hard time reaching an orgasm. Men can get around erectile dysfunction with a variety of treatments, ranging from medications to vacuum pumps, but these treatments will not fix neuropathy.

Putting On The Brakes

Sex is supposed to bring you and your partner pleasure, so pain is an indication that something isn't right. Even if you're shy, it's important to discuss issues of painful sex with a doctor. "See a doctor who is familiar with taking care of sexual problems because we can rectify problems in [most] patients, especially people with diabetes," Goldstein says.

Him:

Men with diabetes are at an increased risk for developing Peyronie's disease, a condition in which scar tissue inside the penis causes a curved and painful erection. Before you worry, take heart: Penises all vary in shape, and a little curve isn't a big deal. With Peyronie's disease, the curve or bend is significant and can make having sex and getting or keeping an erection difficult and painful. A doctor can advise whether you should wait it out, take medication, or have surgery.

Her:

Having sex with too little lubrication can make a woman scream—and not in a good way. Vaginal dryness is one of the main reasons women with diabetes have pain during sex, and better lubrication is the answer. Whether that comes in the form of estrogen therapy for women whose dryness
is a side effect of menopause or over-the-counter lubricants, the goal is to be well lubricated before sex.
Women with diabetes are also at a greater risk for urinary tract infections (UTIs) and vaginal yeast infections, which in turn may lead to painful sex. (Rest assured, though, that people with diabetes are at no greater risk of sexually transmitted diseases than those without the disease.) Lower your chances of getting a UTI or yeast infection by keeping your blood glucose under good control, and head to the doctor at the first sign of discomfort.

Sexual Healing

So maybe your sex life isn't where it should be. If you can admit that to your health care provider, you've already fought half of the battle. Depending on the extent of your sexual dysfunction, you may be able to see improvement by getting your blood glucose in control. Even if the complications are too severe to reverse with better diabetes control alone, keeping your blood glucose levels in line can help to prevent further damage. Another tip: Quit smoking. It's linked to sexual problems, and it's all-around bad news for the rest of your body.

There are several approaches that both men and women benefit from, including seeing a doctor who specializes in sexual medicine and talking with a mental health professional. The latter is an important step because relationship problems, body issues, stress, and a host of other emotional baggage can affect all aspects of your sex life. You may be too self-conscious to get in the mood or get aroused, or maybe you're too stressed to have an orgasm.

A counselor can also help you and your partner work out any strain your sexual dysfunction may have caused. "It creates such emotional tension in a relationship that it permeates the entire relationship, not just in the bedroom," Roszler says. So talk it out and find a way to work around your sexual problems.

Finally, consider making lifestyle changes. Managing your diabetes well, including eating healthfully, exercising regularly, and reducing stress, will benefit your entire body, not just your nether regions. "I think it's very likely that a good sex life leads to better health," says Lindau. "And better health leads to good sex."

Masbi:

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NEW TURNING POINT - 360 DEGREES U TURN

APRIL 1st  2015.

I left UMNO in 1995 after 20 years. for reasons that I have to devote and concentrate on  my business. I need to spend my quality time with my beloved wife and children. But believe me..though I am out of UMNO but my body and soul is still with them and no one can deny that.

But today.. First of April 2015.. I have made a solid " U TURN "  My faith with UMNO has shuttered down the drain. Shame on you Najib...you're a disgrace to our community , your family and nation...bye.. for good.. no reason required...

Masbi:

SEDIKIT TENTANG GST.

Siapa kata hanya pengguna terbeban dengan GST?' - Dr. Asan Ali

Sharkawi Salehudin, Astro Awani | Kemas kini: Mac 24, 2015
(Diterbitkan pada: Mac 24, 2015 18:23 MYT

Dr. Asan Ali mengulas mengenai isu pelaksanaan GST yang dikatakan bakal membebankan

pengguna. - Gambar Fail

KUALA LUMPUR: Cukai barangan dan perkhidmatan (GST) tidak akan membebankan pengguna sebaliknya akan menjadikan sistem percukaian negara lebih adil kepada pengguna.

Menurut Ahli Jawatankuasa Majlis Profesor Negara (MPN), Profesor Dr. Asan Ali Golam Hassan, ini kerana kerajaan akan dapat memantau margin keuntungan peniaga yang sebelum ini sukar dilakukan menerusi sistem percukaian semasa.

Beliau berkata, menerusi GST, Jabatan Kastam DiRaja Malaysia (JKDM) boleh membuat pemantauan di setiap peringkat - pengilang, pemborong, peruncit hingga ke pengguna.

"Pada masa akan datang, semua peniaga yang  mendaftar GST perlu menghantar invois ke Jabatan Kastam setiap bulan. Apa yang kita boleh buat? Kita boleh nilai, kita boleh tahu, kita boleh kira harga input dia berapa, harga output dia berapa.

"Dari mana dia beli input juga kita tahu. Kemana dia jual output juga kita tahu. Bila kita tahu harga input dan output, kita boleh mengira margin keuntungan.

"Jadi pada masa akan datang, kerajaan boleh mengawal margin keuntungan yang sekarang ini sukar untuk dibuat dalam sistem cukai sekarang ini," katanya ketika ditemui di sini pada Selasa.

Dr. Asan Ali berkata demikian ketika mengulas mengenai isu pelaksanaan GST yang dikatakan bakal membebankan pengguna.

Dalam pada itu katanya, pemantauan boleh dilaksanakan menerusi pengumpulan data oleh kerajaan yang perlu dihantar peniaga setiap bulan.

Tegasnya, ia berbeza dengan sistem cukai yang digunapakai sekarang, iaitu pemantauan hanya di peringkat pengilang yang mengenakan cukai barangan.

Katanya lagi, menerusi GST, peniaga perlu memikirkan jumlah cukai korporat yang perlu dibayar jika ingin menaikkan margin keuntungan sesuka hati.

Ia kerana, selain JKDM, Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri (LHDN) juga akan memainkan peranan penting bagi memastikan setiap peniaga menjelaskan cukai korporat setiap tahun.

"Apa yang kita nampak pada masa akan datang, dua (LHDN dan JKDM) entiti ini mungkin akan bergabung menjadi satu dalam jangka masa panjang.

"Jadi apa faedahnya? Faedahnya ialah jika peniaga menaikkan margin keuntungan, bukan susah nak kesan untuk peniaga berdaftar naikkan margin keuntungan sebab setiap bulan dia hantar invois.

"Jika dia (peniaga) naikkan margin keuntungan, hujung tahun Lembaga Hasil akan boleh mengira berapa banyak cukai korporat yang dia perlu bayar," jelasnya.

Tegasnya, peniaga perlu membayar lebih banyak cukai korporat seandainya mereka menaikkan margin keuntungan.

"Itu yang akan berlaku pada masa yang akan datang," ujarnya.

Katanya, pelaksanaan GST adalah adil kepada semua pihak yang terlibat termasuk pengguna yang selama ini menanggung cukai barangan.

"Sekarang ini pekerja perlu membayar cukai pendapatan. Pengguna bayar cukai barangan, tetapi peniaga, bagaimana? Dalam sistem akan datang, GST adil kepada semua."

"Peniaga perlu patuh dan bayar cukai korporat," jelasnya.

Sebelum ini Kementerian Kewangan Malaysia memaklumkan, kerajaan tidak akan menangguhkan pelaksanaan GST yang akan berkuatkuasa mulai 1 April depan seperti yang telah diluluskan di Parlimen.

Ia berkata, pelaksanaan GST dilihat sebagai satu langkah konsolidasi fiskan yang amat penting untuk memastikan kemapanan ekonomi negara dan sebarang penangguhan pelaksanaan GST akan memberi impak negatif ke atas penarafan kredit Malaysia.

Read more at: http://www.astroawani.com/berita-bisnes/siapa-kata-hanya-pengguna-terbeban-dengan-gst-dr-asan-ali-56322?cp

UNTUK DIHAYATI OLEH SEMUA YANG BERGELAR ISTERI

Rahsia Hawa

13 ADAB ISTERI TERHADAP SUAMI YANG PATUT KITA KETAHUI

1. Semasa suami bercakap hendaklah isteri diam mendengarnya dan jangan suka menyampuk atau memotong cakapnya.

2. Bila suami marah hendaklah isteri mendiamkan diri, jangan suka menjawab. Sikap suka menjawab, bertekak dan menegakkan kebenaran sendiri akan menambahkan lagi kemarahan suami.
Jangan terkejut jika suami angkat kaki meninggalkan rumah berhari-hari atau tidak mahu bertegur sapa dengan anda sebagai denda di atas kedegilan anda sebagai isteri.
Sebaliknya, kalau suami kembali ke rumah jangan disambung atau diulang-ulangi cerita lama. Sambutlah suami dengan senyuman kasih sayang dan bersegeralah meminta maaf.
Jangan kita tunggu suami meminta maaf dengan isteri, jatuhlah martabat keegoannya selaku seorang lelaki.
3. Kadang-kadang si suami sengaja suka mengusik isterinya. Bila dia menyakiti hati isteri hendaklah banyak bersabar, jangan cepat merajuk.
Merajuk adalah sifat orang yang tidak matang dan seperti perangai keanak-anakan.
Cuba kita perhatikan perangai kanak-kanak, mereka akan cepat menjerit bila ada sesuatu yang tidak kena tambahan pula kalau yang menegurnya itu ibunya sendiri.
4. Bila kuku, misai dan janggutnya panjang hendaklah segera dipotongkan (jika panjang janggutnya lebih dari segenggam).
5. Jika dia berhajat sesuatu hendaklah isteri cepat bertindak. Bangun segera bila disuruh. Jangan melengah-lengahkan kemahuannya supaya tidak mencetuskan kemarahan atau rasa tersinggung dihatinya.
Jangan isteri buat acuh tak acuh, hatinya akan kecewa dan menandakan isteri sudah tidak taat padanya.
6. Hendaklah memasak mengikut kesukaan suami bukannya ikut selera isteri. Kalau suami suka makan gulai kari atau masak lemak cili api, janganlah kita masak lauk asam pedas atau ikan goreng.
Suami akan gembira bila seleranya ditepati.
7. Apabila pakaian suami koyak atau tercabut butangnya hendaklah segera dijahit. Jahitlah dengan secantik yang boleh supaya pakaian itu kelihatan kemas dan cantik.
Jangan dibuat sambil lewa kerana jahitan tersebut akan melambangkan peribadi isteri samada ikhlas atau terpaksa.
Semua suami akan berasa bangga jika pakaiannya dijahit sendiri oleh jari-jemari halus isterinya, sekurang-kurangnya dapat menampung ekonomi rumahtangga.
8. Sentiasa sediakan barang-barang keperluan di dalam poket baju dan seluar suami iaitu sikat, celak, cermin kecil, minyak wangi dan kayu sugi.
Tidak menjadi kesalahan seandainya si suami menolak segala persediaan tersebut tetapi sekurang-kurangnya sediakanlah minyak wangi dan kayu sugi.
9. Bila bertembung kehendak suami dan anak-anak, dahulukanlah kehendak suami, begitu juga dengan kehendak ibu ayah.
Sekiranya suami ingin dilayan hendaklah ditaati meskipun isteri berada di dalam keadaan letih. Melayani suami merupakan satu pahala besar keatas setiap isteri.
10. Apabila menggunakan harta suami ataupun duit yang hendak kita hadiahkan kepada ibu bapa maka mintalah izin darinya terlebih dahulu.
Jangan beri dahulu kemudian baharu diberitahu kepadanya. Siapa tahu mungkin wang itu amat diperlukan sedangkan isteri sewenang-wenangnya telah menghadiahkan kepada orang lain, suami dapat pahala sedangkan isteri tidak dapat apa-apa.
Sebenarnya meminta izin itu ialah sebelum melakukan sesuatu tindakan bukannya setelah perkara itu berlaku diberitahu. Ini silap sebenarnya tapi kes-kes seperti inilah yang sering berlaku di kalangan para isteri.
11. Sentiasa berada di dalam keadaan bersih dan kemas ketika suami berada di rumah.
Isteri hendaklah berada di dalam keadaan berwangi-wangian supaya hatinya senang untuk bersenda gurau dengan isterinya.
Ketahuilah bahawa bersenda gurau antara suami isteri juga merupakan salah satu ibadah yang diredhai oleh Allah swt.
12. Air minum suami hendaklah sentiasa disiapkan jangan sampai dia minta biarpun sekadar air masak sejuk.
Sebaik-baiknya sediakanlah minuman panas seperti kopi, teh atau susu.
Kalau boleh sediakan makanan ringan seperti kuih-muih dan biskut
Hal ini juga dapat mengelak anak-anak dari membeli makanan ringan di kedai yang tidak mengandungi zat di samping tidak terjamin kebersihannya.
13. Hendaklah isteri sentiasa menghormati dan memuliakan keluarga suami.
Bersikap ramah-tamahlah dengan keluarganya dan bersabarlah di atas segala tindakan mereka walaupun kita kurang menyukai

Dikutip oleh Masbi

INDAHNYA BUNGA PETUNIA.....

Keharmonian serta keutuhan berumah tangga bergantung kepada kesetian diantara  kedua-dua insan yang bergelar " suami dan isteri".

Kerukunan rumah tangga yang selama ini masih lagi berada dihujung tanduk bergegar apabila siisteri bertukar haluan membuat " U Turn " satelah mendengar tazkirah saorang ustaz di saluran TV.

Siisteri adalah saorang yang cerdik dan bijak dengan berjawatan tinggi dan bergaji besar. Kesibukan dengan tugas dipejabat dan di tambah pula dengan kerja-kerja NGO. Sebagai saorang yang aktif dalam persatuan NGO, siisteri kadangkala terpaksa tidak bermalam  di rumah. Bebanan kerja yang banyak telah memberi tekanan perasaan kepada siisteri. Suami pula terpaksa menerima hakikat bahawa sebagai saorang ketua keluarga dia  hendaklah  bersedia untuk memikul tanggungjawab yang berat untuk memastikan masjid yang dibina itu teguh berdiri sehingga keakhir hayat. Walau bagaimanapun  sisuami perlu  bersabar dengan karenah isteri. Sedikit sebanyak suami tersebut telah berjaya mengekalkan momentum , walaupun  terpaksa menempuh keperitan hidup yang berliku-liku.

Mengikut tazkirah ustaz lagi, siisteri tidak perlu, memasak didapur kerana memasak dan memberi makan kepada suami adalah bukan hak mutlak  suami. Penyediaan makanan dan minuman kepada suami  bukanlah suatu kewajipan atau tanggungjawab isteri. Saolah-olah sisuami ialah saorang yang pandai memasak saperti saorang cef. Ironinya sisuami pulak hendaklah menanggung nafkah zahir dan batin siisteri.

Pendapatan si isteri tidak boleh diusik walau pun sesen sekali pun. Pendapatan siisteri tidak boleh dikongsi atau diambil oleh suami kerana tanggungjawab suami sebagai ketua didalam rumah tangga hendaklah memberi nafkah kepada isteri supaya isteri dan anak-anak tidak kelaparan.

Si isteri tidak perlu membasuh kain baju suami dan suami hendaklah berbuat sebaliknya dengan membasuh kain baju isteri kerana isteri keluar  bekerja saolah-olah si suami tidak pulak bekerja. Isteri tidak perlu mencuci dan menggosak kain baju  si suami bahkan si suami hendaklah mencuci dan menggosok pakaian isteri semasa isteri sibuk dengan tugas-tugas dipejabat. Didalam satu keaadaan si isteri tidak mengindahkan saranan si suami supaya menggosok sahelai seluar untuk dipakai olehnya. ketika siisteri sedang menggosokan pakaian.  Sisuami terpaksa menggosok pakaianya sendiri salepas siisteri selesai menggosok.

Sisuami samaada  mempunyai kemampuan kewangan atau tidak  hendaklah menyediakan saorang amah untuk mengendalikan semua urusan rumah tangga sekiranya sisuami tidak mampu untuk menjalankan urusan harian dirumah.

Sekiranya isteri dapat melakukan sebahagian atau keseluruan tugas-tugas itu dikira sebagai "bonus" kepada suami.

Ustaz memberi contoh dimana Nabi Muhammad (SAW) juga melakukan kerja-kerja harian dirumah dengan membantiu isteri-isteri baginda. Berdasarkan kepada tazkirah ustaz tersebut  siisteri telah membuat perhitungan agar suaminya akur dengan hukum Allah serta sunnah nabi (SAW). Isteri memandang rendah terhadap suami yang gagal melaksana tanggungjawab saperti yang di sebut oleh ustaz tersebut. Dimanakah keadilan terhadap suami ?

Maka berlakulah kepincangan didalam rumah tangga yang boleh membawa kepada keruntuhan dan perceraian disebabkan kepercayaan dan ketaksuban kata-kata ustaz tanpa memberi perhitungan serta kewajaran semasa terhadap apa yang ditazkirahkan. Dimanaka kepintaran dan kebijaksaan  saorang yang bergelar ilmuan. Tidak hairanlah jika si suami terpikat dengan makchik bunga "petunia" yang berada diseberang lautan. Wallahuaqlam.

Mengulas rentetan ini penulis akan  copy dan paste satu hasilan  dari Rahsia Hawa  yang patut dibaca dan dihayati oleh sesaorang yang bergelas "Isteri" pada minggu hadapan.

Penulis: Masbi

MEMOIR UNTUKMU........ENGKAU ATAU AKU YANG TERSALAH PILIH.??? ( Sabuah Nukilan Nostalgia ) IF ONLY I LIVE.

Salam kepada yang disayangi  dan dikasihi N*****

SABUAH KISAH SANTAI 

I love you with my heart and soul. I like the way you are, the way you talk, the way you laugh and the way you smile and the way you show your affection towards me. I still remember sometime in May nearly a year ago, at Kuantan, Kuala Terengganu, Kota Bharu, Cameron Highland, Langkawi, Slim River, and Gopeng, were the places that mingle in my mind just to recapitulate  the happiness and the good time when we were together.

I love you not because of your position and status and not because you are a rich woman as alleged  by you. I can imagine how happy will be when we are in matrimonial. You show no emotion whenever I slip my gesture and instead you stay by my side as if we were made to be together forever and ever. Keterampilan mu sebagai wanita muslimah melemahkan jantungku dan inilah ( pada fikiranku ) pertermuan dari Allah yang dinantikan saatnya.. Wah!!! jodoh yang akan membawa kita kasyurga..

But suddenly...dari Allah kita  datang dan kepadaNYA juga kita kembali.   Kejujuran  telah berkecai dan meresap bagai embun mengering pabila panas menjelma. Kejujuran yang lahir dari sanubari tidak lagi memerlukan masa yang panjang dan tidak pula memilih waktu untuk dibuktikan.. semuanya telah hilang sakelip mata. Sekiranya abang yang menyakiti hati mu , berterus teranglah. Abang boleh menerima teguran dan boleh membetulkan kesilapan demi untuk membuat persediaan ke alam baqa'. Sesaat berlalu, akan mendekati aku kepada panggilanNYA.

Peristiwa meminang dan berkahwin dalam masa sebulan salepas itu, mempunyai hikmah dan igauan. Keputusan bersama yang dibuat itu  adalah keputusan yang ikhlas dan jujur dan bukan kerana desakan sesiapa mahupun dari batang tubuh mu atau dari mana-mana pihak jua.

Sebagai isteri yang solehah segala perbuatan dan tindakan hendaklah mencirikan kesolehan sesaorang isteri itu. Berdosa jika siisteri tidak mentaati suami kecuali dalam urusan kemungkaran terhadap Yang Maha Esa. Sebagai saorang yang berilmu dan mempunyai pelajaran tinggi perkara pokok saperti ini tidak sepatutnya berlaku. Tragedi yang berlaku pada jam 3.30 ptg pada 25. Okt. 2013, sangatlah memilukan hatiku yang bergelar suami. Satelah membaca jawapan melalui sms, kini aku  faham.. oh!!  rupa-rupa kita tersalah faham.. Jikalau tersalah faham, kita bermaafan sahajalah, " tidak beriman sesaorang itu jika tidak dapat memaafkan sesama sendiri" ( Hadith SAW ).. Itu sahaja. Tetapi pada hakikatnya engkau enggan faham dan mungkin kerana kebencian yang sangat kesumat engkau  berburuk sangka terhadap ku. Redakan panas baran   dengan berzikir, beristifar  dan juga dengan amalan doa  semoga engkau menjadi saorang yang bertakwa dan bersyukur.

Malangnya perkara ini berlanjutan dan lebih malang lagi  abang tidak dapat melihat kejujuran mu. Tidak dapat ku  pastikan mengapa persetujuan berkahwin  dibuat  dengan tergesa-gesa  dan    terburu-buru. Mungkin  engkautelah  tersalah pilih atau  pilihan yang membuta tuli tanpa mengambil kira statusku. Aku bukan dari gulungan yang berkelulusan tinggi yang engkau  cari. Saperti yang engkau katakan aku bukanlah dari gulungan orang-orang berada berperangai buruk dan tidak setanding dengan mu. Mungkin juga umur ku yang sudah "ranum".  Engkau memerlukan  saorang yang muda remaja atau lelaki  yang boleh  senantiasa menjaga hati mu  dan boleh menurut segala kehendak serta kemahuan saorang pensyarah. Tetapi ini semua bukan salah engkau .. cuma.... engkau  sahaja yang tersalah pilih. Tetapi ini adalah ketentuan Allah.. kita terima sahaja lah.

Dipendekan sahaja nukilan ini,  aku bukanlah  orang yang sesuai untukmu dan segala peristiwa yang di lalui itu hanyalah sia-sia dan membuang masa kita sahaja. Kita nokhtahkan sahaja perkahwinan ini supaya engkau  dapat meneruskan kerjaya sebagai saorang pensyarah terhormat saperti yang diidamkan tanpa gangguan dari ku  lagi. Aku tidak mahu menjadi penghalang  kepada perjuangan dan cita-citamu. Aku  mengambil iktibar dari peristiwa ini dan senantiasa berdoa untuk kejayaanmu.   Teruskanlah...selamat majujaya..dan   engkau mampu melakukanya.

Maafkanlah segala kesilapan abang dalam masa 40 hari bersamamu( semasa memoir ini ditulis ) Halalkanlah makan minum, perbuatan yang menyingung perasaan atau tutur bahasa yang menyakitkan hati.   Abang juga bagitu,  sudah dan akan terus  memaafkan mu  dunia dan akhirat. Aku  akan memaafkan  mu setiapkali sebelum aku masuk tidur.

I am now closer to Allah because of  you and I have  no regret to be with you...thank  you..thank you.

Penulis ( 8.00pm-25/10/2013)

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DAIRY SAORANG  YANG KECEWA

This is fatal....

At last... kesabaran ku telah sampai kapenamat. Jam 4.30,  24hb. Nov.  salepas sembahyang sunat Tahjud.. segala-galanya telah berkecai...meletup habis.. First time I ever cried in front of  a woman. Jam 6.30 pagi, ku hulur tangan pohon ampun dan maaf diatas semua kesalahan. 6.45 pagi " angkat kaki." meninggalkan rumah sewa. And that was the last time I was suppose to see her.

Penulis ( 9.00 am- 24/11/2013 )

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It does not end there...again on 8th Dec. another grenade blasted off.  Just because of  simple misunderstanding on how to take a shortcut back to Sungai Petani,from Klang, there goes the sour face once again. 9th morning we woke up early and after prayer ( subuh ) nothing happen. As usual no breakfast no warm tea or coffee..ya..nothing. as far as I remember, I only had proper morning tea ( breakfast) only three times in 60 days marriage. At 7.00 am I angkat kaki balik rumah anak and terus ke L******I,  hibernating. ..perggggh.

Dairi ( 2.00am 8/12/2013 )

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18.3.2014 ( 8.30pm )

It does not end there though..She was at  home after returning from kuliah. While waiting for her return I performed my Magrib  prayer at Masjid Fatimah. When I returned home, again for no reason she showed her sour face. Tegur sepatah jawab sepatah.Susahlah nak berkongsi hidup kalau macam ni. I am leaving our rented  home for at least 2 weeks. Fedup with this type of life. Will be back on 6th April.

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6.30pm. ( 7.5.2014 - (The day my children are coming to our rented house )

Dia buat hal lagi...Just because I was late to come back home.  Actually I told her that Iam coming home at 5 - 6pm. But she thought I told her 2.30 pm. misscommunication break down. Again she refused to talk but show her sour face. Even my grand daughter  realised  her behaviour.

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10.00pm Hotel Continental  ( 29.5.2014 )

We were in L******I. She asked me to buy panadol for her office mate .  I was late. Infact at 9.00pm I was already in the room. Again, communication break down. She waited for me downstairs. About 10pm she came up to the room and asked me where I have gone and had some argument  for not informing her about the panadol. I told her that I was in the room since 9.00pm.  She always let her anger control her. She became furious and later shouted at me to hand over the extra pillow which I was holding. From that time I kept quite till solat subuh. She left the room for breakfast at 7.00 am without saying a word ( her porpular behaviour when with me during outstaion ). No preparation even a cup of tea or coffee for me. I left the room as soon as she were gone for breakfast.

At 8.15 am I received sms " I'll buy my own ticket. No need to buy mine "

At 9.48 am She asked me to leave the room and collect my belonging at the hotel counter.

THIS IS THE THIRD TIME IN 5 MONTHS   DENGAN SOMBONG SECARA SENGAJA MENGUSIR AKU DARIPADA BILIK HOTEL:-

1- Peristiwa ditinggalkan ditepi jalan dalam hutan  kelapa sawit 

2- Diusir keluar semasa dirumah sewa jam 11.00 malam ( 30.12.2013 )

3- Diusir keluar bilik  Hotel Continental. ( 30.5.2014 )

That night, I woke up at 4.00 am,  I had my Istiqarah and Taubah prayer.. I cried at least 5 times  when ever I console myself asking for forgiveness from Allah. Why Allah give me jodoh with you and it turned out to be just like taking cynide ( slow death ) Apakah hikmahnya dengan berkahwin dengan dia. Tentu ada hikmahnya...tetapi APAKAH hikmahnya ???? Ya Allah tunjukan dengan segera...hanya Allah sahaja yang mengetahui.

After solat Subuh that morning,  I began to feel calm, and all the feelings of uncertainity torwards you were just gone. I said to myself - be patient with this lady for ALLAH  help is on the way.

Just to buy your heart, later that afternoon  I went to HIG supermart and bought a pressure cooker      ( As you wanted this pressure cooker so much.  ) A week before I bought you a grinder - you even did not bother to look at it. 

ADAKAH AKU SAORANG YANG DAYUS!!!

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1st.June 2014 ( Own home )

At time and this date of writing my memoir, I am not going to call or SMS you. Remember...!!! on the 29th of this month we both are going to Kota Kinabalu for our honeymoon. If you you still do not bother to call or SMS me, I will cancel the SABAH trip.(Return Ticket has been confirmed and paid )

NUKILAN INI AKAN TERSIAR SECARA OTOMATIK SALEPAS TARIKH PENDAFTARAN PENCERAIAN DIMAHKAMAH SYARIAH.

WALLAH HU AQLAM...